


you're my painkiller

by hawaiianpizza



Series: the safe space idolverse [1]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Anxiety, Brief mentions of panic attacks, But it gets better I promise, Implied SeokSoo, M/M, basically the power went out in my neighborhood and i pulled this right out my ass, idolverse, inspired by coups putting Painkiller by Ruel in his spotify playlist :)), jeonghan is seungcheol's anchor and we love that, late night type beat, seungcheol has very extra coping mechanisms and thats okay, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 02:00:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29306118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hawaiianpizza/pseuds/hawaiianpizza
Summary: seungcheol's life has never been easy. it's not like he gets a manual for how to be a leader of a large group of kids seemingly the mental age of four, max, or how to deal with his anxiety on top of his profession, or how to be the perfect hyung for his members.but who needs a manual when he has a yoon jeonghan, anyway?
Relationships: Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Yoon Jeonghan
Series: the safe space idolverse [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2169600
Comments: 2
Kudos: 39





	you're my painkiller

**Author's Note:**

> a vv random oneshot i wrote a few months back when the power went out :))))
> 
> \- also !! this is def jeongcheol, but their moment is very brief. its mostly sc centric, but the smol fluff in the end is not that long im sorry ahjskdahjd

in the obsolete silence, the clock strikes one, indicating the third hour since seungcheol has gone to bed; or attempted to. he lies awake now, staring mindlessly at the clock, twisting the finger on his ring that the twelve other members share. out the window, where a stream of moonlight piles into the room, the city is completely black. the power went out around ten minutes ago, but he's not paying any mind to any of that. 

in the moment of absolute desolation, he's left alone with no one, or nothing, but his thoughts. he can't be alone with is thoughts. doesn't want to be alone with his thoughts. he's too scared, too afraid of the negative space his own brain seems intent on forcing him into. the last time he was this vulnerable, especially since his anxiety had started spiking... he prefers not to think about it either. it had cost way more than he expected; his own wellbeing included. 

in short summary, he retreated into what he knew best; music. he had put on only his shoes and ran out the dorm in nothing but a shirt and his sweatpants, ignoring the blistering cold biting at his skin and gnawing at his lungs while he ran. ran to the studio and shut himself in, producing lyrics and melodies and anything related to his line of work. 

he doesn't know how long he was caged in there, but he recalls passing out (inevitable, considering his lack of sleep and his last meal had been more than seven hours prior), then waking up to jihoon by his side. on the floor of the room, a medic or two surrounding him, a contraption on his face, assisting his breathing. he refuses to give it a name, because he's seen it one too many times, and he'd rather ignore it's existence because he associates it with bad memories. 

memories of his members also on the floor, eyes shut tight, chest heaving. sure, he's had to use it more times than they, but he's a leader, first and foremost, and whether or not it's his job, he worries more about his boys than himself.

back to his last true moment of vulnerability, jihoon had sat by him on the floor of the studio, staying until his breath was even and all the medics and managers were gone. the sun was already high in the sky, streaming through the open door, but it was a Saturday, hence why jihoon was unusually late to work. he wasn't even supposed to enter here on weekends, but he's as stubborn as he is talented. so for that, seungcheol wordlessly spared him a scolding. 

the two had talked for what seemed like hours, when in reality, jeonghan arrived in twenty minutes after being alerted. and unlike seungcheol's mercy towards jihoon, the second oldest made him deal with a tongue lashing, his voice shrill and mean as he furiously rambled on and on about how he wasn't taking care of himself again. jihoon excused himself automatically, saying something about going to have lunch instead. seungcheol accepted the look he was snuck, which he deciphered as a _thank you for not scolding me. take care of yourself._

he'd accepted it. 

and now, seungcheol's staring at the dark ceiling. wonwoo had popped in earlier, bringing in a candle and telling him to get some sleep, since the manager said something about the power not coming back for another few hours. he appreciated the gesture, but seungcheol waited around a minute after he left before blowing out the flame. 

his mind goes back to that last particular memory, and jeonghan's panicked voice. 

mm. jeonghan. 

a comforting thought. 

he doesn't think on it any longer. he gets out of bed and he registers his padded footsteps sounding out in the room. he also remembers fighting for this; not having any roommates. jun had joked, saying, _geez, hyung, you hate us that bad?_ but they had laughed, and he head locked the younger playfully. 

he fought to have his own room because he didn't want the members to worry. 

in all honesty, he didn't want to be alone as much as possible. but he knew if he started seeming too dependent, they'd sense something was up. granted, he could have just been calm throughout the game (because _we're adults who know how to reach our own conclusions. so let's decide through rock paper scissors_ according to seungkwan), but his brain sort of flickered into fight or flight mode, hence his over-excitement. 

_fuck anxiety and it's tumultuous emotions, bro_ he had mumbled after moving his stuff in and getting settled. 

right now, he expertly navigates his way through the dorm in the dark, easily finding jeonghan and seokmin's room. 

as expected, seokmin isn't here (he's always frazzled whenever the power goes out, or when there's a thunderstorm. or if he's having nightmares. and so on), and seungcheol doesn't need to check to know that he's in joshua's room, with poor vernon either third-wheeling or in seungkwan and chan's room.

jeonghan, who was on his phone, looked up when his door opened, and silently watched him approach, before switching off his device and placing it on his bedside table. seungcheol slips into bed with him, the mattress dipping under his weight. the younger's arms come up to wrap around seungcheol's neck, nuzzling closer. "I knew you'd come in here sooner or later." 

he chuckles, amused. "am I bothering you?"

jeonghan too, chuckles. "yes. you are." yet he tightens his arms around him and pulls him closer, breath fanning the older's neck.   
the two share a soft laugh, and it silently resonates in the atmosphere. seungcheol feels his worries, problems, and stress slip away at the simple gesture. jeonghan is truly a life saver.

**Author's Note:**

> might continue this to make a pt.2 bc i wanna write more jc oneshots while i work on my other fics :>>
> 
> twt : @_celestialchoi


End file.
